Peaches and Cream

Dear Ms. Solve It,

I think I’m in trouble. My skin is getting grayer by the day, it’s not as creamy and luscious as it was before. I also observed that my dear Froilan, doesn’t want to sleep with me under him anymore.

I remember having very good times with him and I long for those nights when he would embrace me after a long day’s work. He used to smell me and rub his nose on me a lot before going to sleep. He would wake up with a smile on his face and fix me up before starting his morning routine.

Now, that doesn’t happen anymore. I think I stink. A lot. I need washing, that’s for sure. I haven’t been washed, dried under the sun and starched for a long time now. It’s been weeks or even months. He seems to be neglecting me. He rarely sleeps here at home nowadays so I dunno if he’s even noticed.

What do I do, Ms. Solve It? Help me get noticed.

Peaches

The Creamy Bed sheet

++++

Dear Peaches,

I commiserate with you on your current state of being, it’s a pity that Froilan hasn’t noticed that he is living and sleeping in not so ideal surroundings. But it’s even more worrisome to me that you are waiting for him to take care of you!

Be a little more proactive, my dear. Cleanliness is verry important. Do something! Desperate times call for drastic measures. So, move your pretty ass!

Doesn’t Froilan own a washing machine you can soak your body into so you can get your creaminess back? Go ahead and take care of yourself. Crawl to the nearest Laundromat if you have to.

Stop being wishy-washy! Do something NOW— otherwise,, you are in danger of having more trouble come your way. Don’t wait for Froilan to impeach you by buying a newer and creamier bed sheet. Take things into your own hands. And that’s an order.

Your friend and adviser,

Ms. Solve It