A shadow of my old self

This was my Journal entry on May 22, 2006. Three years ago today.

Where is she now? Where is my old self?
Can I summon her here.. right now? I need her quick!

MAKE A LIFE, NOT JUST A LIVING!

INTRODUCTION

Action Steps

1. Success is having a balanced life; being great in all areas of your life. It’s not just about having a financially-rewarding and prestigious career or having properties and stocks but using all of these things to help other people achieve their dreams while you are pursuing yours.

For me, it’s about having meaningful relationships, knowing yourself and your needs and being completely happy regardless of the material things you don’t have.

Also, in order to be successful, one should not focus solely on the FRUITS of our labor, but more importantly, on the ROOTS. The ABCs are: attitude, beliefs and commitments.

2. Obituary:

Crystal is a person of integrity. She devoted her life towards making this place a better one for fellow artists, screen/TV writers, authors, musicians, singers, comedians, theater actors, production people, managers, and entrepreneurs using her blessings and ever-expanding sphere of influence. She was a very generous and kind person who found delight in the simplest of pleasures. She loved to cook for her friends and family and laughed at the silliest jokes of her grandchildren. She was always the life of the party and she was well-loved by her colleagues and employees. She loved to experiment and was an adventurer. Even in her 70's she was still trying out new things and conquering her fears. She was the epitome of a Renaissance woman.

3. I’ll know I have succeeded when I see my children living balanced and successful lives because they learned through my example.

4. MAXIMIZERS Principles (Rate yourself from 1 – 10)

a. M - I take charge of my life and am a difference-maker: 8

b. A - I live my life with a sense of destiny: 8

c. X - I embrace problems as positive opportunities: 8

d. I - I center my life on bedrock principles: 6

e. M - I passionately pursue my mission: 7

f. I - I keep all vital areas of my life in balance: 6

g. Z - I put others first and honestly serve them: 6

h. E - I cultivate my character and spirit: 7

i. R - I keep adjusting to needs: 6

j. S - I never, ever, ever quit: 5

CHAPTER 1

Action Steps

1. I see myself as a victor! I believe I have the capacity to determine my life’s direction and of making the right decisions despite the many challenges and conflicting interests of people around me. I also believe that I’m perfectly able and, in fact, have been struggling to do it for several years now, am gaining control on my thoughts, belief systems and attitudes. That is because I give myself time to creatively reflect every once in a while. An example is the decision to move from one job to another in the last three years until I can find my niche and follow my heart’s desire in pursuing my dream to become a writer.

2. I’m quite disciplined when it comes to work now, more than I was a couple of years back. I’m also disciplined in giving myself time to relax and re-charge after a period of intense work. I am LEAST disciplined when it comes to EATING and doing EXERCISE.

3. ParishChurch. And go to Annanda Marga on Saturday mornings to attend free yoga classes. I would like to start exercising again on a regular basis. I wish I can get up everyday at 6am to attend the free Tai Chi class in our Parish Church.

4. My BAD Habits are:
   1. Watching TV for more than 3 hours each day which keeps me from doing more productive work.
   2. Not waking up at the appointed time.
   3. Eating too much.
   4. Spending too much on FOOD.
   5. Eating too much sweets.
   6. Procrastinating (and cramming).

Chapter 2

Action Steps

1. Complete the ff statements:

A. I am special because

1.) Because I have the gift of making people at ease and I am a very good listener. People come to me with all sorts of problems and troubles and they feel good after being with me.

2.) Because I am very creative, I can weave words into a story and I shape my life into a masterpiece.

3.) Because I have faith and I have a strong relationship with my God and I believe that I am exactly where I need to be at every moment.

B. I can make a difference in these ways:

1.) Helping the people around me achieve their dreams, by encouraging them and boosting their self esteem

2.) Introducing people with a certain need to those people who can respond to these needs. I believe that we are all interdependent and we will only be successful by helping others in their journey.

3.) Touching people’s lives, loving them and trusting them that they will make the right decisions.

C. I must fulfill my destiny (reason for being) by:

1.) By showing up when and where I am needed. By working hard and doing my best every time.

2.) By confronting my fears and inspiring others to do the same.

3.) By having a grateful heart, by always thanking God for all the blessings and challenges He will throw my way.

Therefore, I see myself as a SIGNIFICANT PERSON.

2. Here are three major soft spots I need to admit to myself, to others and to God.

a. I can be lazy at times, I tell myself that I don’t have time to exercise but the truth is I am just too lazy to do it.

b. I am getting more selective when it comes to choosing friends. I look at friendships as an investment so I choose people according to their ROI (return of investment) potential. I choose those whom I perceive who can help me in the future or those I can help in the future.

c. I am so extravagant when it comes to food and books. I spend all my money on restaurants and on buying books and magazines. I seldom buy clothes or anything that I need like toiletries etc. Plus, I love to travel whenever I can even when I only have P2000 on my pocket.

I would love to travel more. Plus, I would love to spend more to buy paintings, watching theatrical plays concerts and movies. I’m not sure if this is a weakness though.

3. Here’s how I will look for opportunities to grow in the coming year:

1. I will always keep my ears open and always be on the lookout how I can help people.

2. I will be thankful when problems/crises arise because as the Chinese say, “there is opportunity in crisis” or as one famous wise man puts it, “failures are blessings in disguise”.

3. I’ll continue to work on my weaknesses, cultivate my strengths and be generous in sharing my time and learning with friends and strangers alike.

MAXIMIZER’S CREED

I will take charge of my life and make a difference.

I will live my life with a sense of dignity.

I will embrace problems as positive opportunity.

I will center my life on universal principles.

I will passionately pursue my mission.

I will keep all vital areas of my life in balance.

I will put others fist and honestly serve them.

I will cultivate my character and spirit.

I will keep adjusting to needs.

I will never, ever, ever quit.