Discovering tools for blogging smarter

I'm trying to discover a lot of tools and tricks that will make blogging easier and less work for me.

I find myself spending more time reading and commenting on other blogs lately to build backlinks for Pinaybackpacker so that I can improve my pagerank.

Because of this, I don't get to write and post my thoughts and travel stories and travel reflections as much.

But so far, I'm really enjoying my time and I don't really try to pressure myself into doing like 10 tasks in a day. Yes, i list my tasks for the week and sometimes I get to check of 5-6 on a good week but there are times when i can only manage to check off 2 or 3 but I still think I am productive.

Ok, where was I again?

Back to the tools and tricks. I just discovered that I can actually publish articles and blogposts from my favorite site using RSSinclude boxes. So, to test how it would look like I will post a sample on this blog. I've been wondering about how to do this for quite some time and I'm glad that i stumbled on this blog that brought this tool to my attention.



It's a little easier to do here on blogger than on a self-hosted wordpress blog like the one I have at Pinaybackpacker, because I will need to download a plug-in, configure it and add it as a widget.

But since I'm already using 20= widgets on my sidebar, I really don't know if I want to add more...LOL!!!

I'm grateful for these things

36 CHRISTIAN WAYS TO REDUCE STRESS

An Angel says, "Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn’t happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice."

1. Pray
2. Go to bed on time.
3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.
4. Say No to projects that won’t fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health.
5. Delegate tasks to capable others.
6. Simplify and unclutter your life.
7. Less is more. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.)
8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.
9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don’t lump the hard things all together.
10. Take one day at a time.
11. Separate worries from concerns. If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety. If you can’t do anything about a situation, forget it.
12. Live within your budget; don’t use credit cards for ordinary purchases.
13. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps,etc.
14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.
15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.
16. Carry a Bible with you to read while waiting in line.
17. Get enough rest.
18. Eat right.
19. Get organized so everything has its place.
20. Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life.
21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.
22. Every day, find time to be alone.
23. Having problems? Talk to God on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don’t wait until it’s time to go to bed to try and pray.
24. Make friends with Godly people.
25. Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on hand.
26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a good "Thank you Jesus."
27. Laugh.
28. Laugh some more!
29. Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all.
30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can).
31. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most.)
32. Sit on your ego.
33. Talk less; listen more.
34. Slow down.
35. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe
36 Every night before bed, think of one thing you’re grateful for that you’ve never been grateful for before. GOD HAS A WAY OF TURNING THINGS AROUND FOR YOU. "If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31)

Thank you Lord for giving me such wonderful friends who never fail to remind me of your presence in my life.

Silver linings

It’s been a very productive 2 days. At least now I can see more clearly what seems to be bugging me.

It really helps to be able to process yourself once in a while. I should have done this sooner.

I woke up at 4am today and it dawned on me that I’ve been letting all my insecurities get to me instead of focusing at what I am GOOD at.

I know that I am good at certain things. Not a whole lot but some.
What are these?

1. I’m good at researching.
2. I like to learn and read a lot.
3. I like to write about what other people are doing/experiencing and tie these up with my own experiences.
4. I am good at motivating and encouraging others.

Plus, I have friends that also like to travel and some of them might be interested in contributing articles to my blog – if they don’t have one yet. There are 3 who already said yes, but only one of them has submitted her article.

And then, yesterday, a friend of my mom sent me an essay about her life and her experiences as a newbie mountaineer. She is 49 years old!

The essay is a bit too long but it has potential. And I can help her shape it up so it will be more interesting for the readers. Initially, I wanted to tap the international audience for my blog. But lately, I guess I realized I cannot really compete in that arena yet. They’re far more knowledgeable and far more experienced than I am (than most Pinoys are). And I don’t really want to sound pretentious. I am not a seasoned backpacker yet, though I have every intention to be one.

But the reality is – right now, at least for the next year I can’t afford to do a RTW (round-the-world) trip yet. And I really just want to concentrate on promoting my country first. The Philippines is so full of possibilities. And I know that it would be worth anyone’s while to go here and explore whatever it is we have to offer. And it would be to my advantage that more and more people do it.

It would also be to my advantage if more and more Pinays and Pinoys travel backpacking style and blog about their experiences. That would help backpacking become a more acceptable means of going from one place to another. It’s cheaper and hopefully, a more responsible and responsive way.

So, what’s the plan again?

1. Continue being a one-man team but recruit other writers. Follow up Nadia, May and Arlynne’s articles.

2. Comment on other blogs regularly. Just pick 5 or 6 local bloggers and 2 international preferably those who’ve been to the Philippines already.

3. Right now, Crystal is my writer self. Isis should be the one doing the editing and the marketing/promotions.

I think I should differentiate it some more. I should have 3 code names for my own personal use just so I can compartmentalize my roles. I am after all, a multi-faceted person.

*** Isis is the mother, nurturer, fertility goddess. She is the one who is supposed to be nurturing Crystal, and other writers-- and encourage them to be more productive. She is the one planting seeds of possibilities – that the Philippines is a Backpacker’s paradise. She is my higher self. She is the promoteur.

*** Crystal is my brilliant writer self. She has clarity of purpose, which is to be open and transparent. She can shed light on many issues. She can be entertaining as well as informative. She likes to teach and she likes to eat – a lot! Those are 2 of her strongest passions aside from writing. But she is a child and as such, she needs lots of affection, appreciation and guidance.

*** Athena is the athletic/sporty type. She likes adventures. She is my more daring self. She likes to take risks and do extreme sports. She can, however, weigh things more level-headedly. She knows the difference between risky and dangerous. She is my more adult self. She is the one I aspire to be.

Going back to my anxieties

It’s been almost 2 weeks since I talked about my anxiety attack, but I never really got to the root of my problems. I've been distracted... I’ve been busy studying and learning about these things: writing salespages/copywriting, using autoresponders, affiliate marketing, article marketing, video blogging, using Google adsense & other methods of monetizing a blog, etc. etc.

Plus, I’ve also been trying really hard to put useful content on my blog. It’s coming along real slow.

I feel more overwhelmed than ever. Information overload: it’s bound to happen.

So, today I want to get to the root of my problem in the past 3 months.

Why am I feeling so anxious?

1. Identity – should I use my real name or not? Why should I? And why shouldn’t I? (I decided to use 2 pseudonyms for now.)

If I use it, then I’d feel weighed down all the more – weighed down by expectations and pressures from other people. I know it. I know people expect a lot from me, that I know a lot. That I know a terrible lot. And that makes me really terrified. What if I fall flat on my face? What if I really don’t know a lot and I disappoint myself and the [people who know me?
I know that’s ridiculous but that’s how I feel most of the time these days.
Another thing: I’m not sure if my friends (most of them are in the academe) will see this as a worthy endeavor. I mean, blogging is not really something considered as a “legitimate” occupation yet in my circle. A hobby perhaps, but not a job or a viable business potion. I really hope I can change this perception though.

So… What’s the worst thing that can happen here?
a) They stop being my friends.
b) They don’t support my blog or even take time to read it.
c) They tell me to get back on the market and find a “real” job like what my mom always nags me to do.

Okay, now that I’ve seen the worst-case scenario I can breathe a little better. First, I don’t think many of them will stop being my friends. I doubt that very much. I’m just too anxious.

Second, I know some of them will be interested in my chosen topic and some of the articles I will write or have written but not all of them will be. Not all of them likes to travel or would like to backpack when they travel so I guess I shouldn’t be too disappointed by this. After all, there are 20 million Internet users in this country and I only have what 200 friends? So, it’s not a big deal. But, I know I would want them to visit my blog and show their support because well, I need it.

Moving on…

2. Niche – admittedly, I sometimes think I’m presumptuous. Who am I to say that I am THE Pinay Backpacker? How many places have I actually gone to in the past 10-15 years? Not a whole lot, compared to my friend Raz, and he doesn’t consider himself a backpacker. (And yet, my site’s name is pinaybackpacker.com)

How many of these trips did I pay for myself? How many lasted more than a weekend? How many involved actual exploration? Well, I am perfectly aware of these but then again, I am not claiming to be an expert YET.

Backpacking is relatively new (as a concept) in this country. Unlike Europeans, most of us can’t travel on our gap years (right after highschool or college graduation).

Besides, backpacking is not something that one gets certified for. No institution or agency will give you an exam and make you take an oath. So, what am I so afraid of?

And yes, I’ve traveled to some really far-off places and have had some opportunity to do community immersions and exposure trips since I was in college. I think I’ve traveled more than most people. And yet, I also know that there are still so many places that I need to go to and would want to explore given time and extra money. Besides, Seth Godin says we are all experts, in our own way. And each of us have unique set of backgrounds, experiences, values and knowledge to draw from. So, I shouldn’t be so anxious. It’s just so happened that the domain name was available and I felt that it was the most catchy one I can think of.

3. Motivation and Goals – why am I blogging again? What do I want to achieve?

This issue is a little muddled in my mind right now. So, I need to really thresh this out.

I have three main goals as of yesterday:
a. To inform and educate
b. To entertain
c. To earn at least $300 a month

Today, I am not so sure. Because the more I blog and the more I visit other blogs the more I see that those 3 aren’t as easy to do as I hoped. There are so many blogs out there. I think 3,000 new ones are created every hour.

In my niche alone, I’ve seen many blogs that are really informative and interesting. Mainly because these people actually travel, and are blogging their way from a different place/country each entry, and they have pictures to prove it!

While all I have are memories and a bunch of friends spread out all over the country and all over the planet. This is because I don’t own a camera and have never really had the foresight that pictures will come in handy one day.

I now see that this blog isn’t going to be my last. In fact, I’ve already started working on 2 more blogs in the past week. Until I am able to travel more extensively, I can’t compete with those who are blogging about exotic and exciting places.

So, I’ll have to offer something else. Right now, I haven’t figured that out yet. That’s why my insecurities are eating me up. And why I haven’t been able to write as many blog entries as I should have.

However, I feel that my motivations are still intact. My goals may change tomorrow but my purpose will never waver.

They are:
1. To help send my former students in Palawan through highschool and maybe even college
2. To inspire others to travel and explore more of my beloved country through my writing.
3. To express my love and appreciation for this country – with all its strengths and flaws.
4. To learn how I can achieve financial freedom through available opportunities in the Internet.

Okay, so what should I do next?
Where do I go from here?

Insights from my more brilliant self

Woman & Child

She…

…is independent and assertive

…dreams big and pursues what she believes in

…is charming without her knowing it

…can laugh at herself and just have fun

…is well-respected and knows when to get down to business

…may act strong even when vulnerable inside

…is aware of her limitations but dares to go beyond them

…asks questions as if seeing things for the first time

…can take care of herself but loves to be pampered nonetheless

…has a mind of her own and can make firm decisions

…is sensitive to others and has a soft heart within

…serves as a role model and inspiration to many

…can be understanding but may be hard to understand

…loves to learn and seeks to be inspired

…can find joy even in the silliest things

…appreciates security but delights in surprises

…recognizes and enjoy’s life’s little pleasures

…has a sense of self, is unique and gets away with it

…gives love, yearns for love and is loved

…is a woman yet also a child inside.

I am both a WOMAN and a CHILD

A shadow of my old self

This was my Journal entry on May 22, 2006. Three years ago today.

Where is she now? Where is my old self?
Can I summon her here.. right now? I need her quick!

MAKE A LIFE, NOT JUST A LIVING!

INTRODUCTION

Action Steps

1. Success is having a balanced life; being great in all areas of your life. It’s not just about having a financially-rewarding and prestigious career or having properties and stocks but using all of these things to help other people achieve their dreams while you are pursuing yours.

For me, it’s about having meaningful relationships, knowing yourself and your needs and being completely happy regardless of the material things you don’t have.

Also, in order to be successful, one should not focus solely on the FRUITS of our labor, but more importantly, on the ROOTS. The ABCs are: attitude, beliefs and commitments.

2. Obituary:

Crystal is a person of integrity. She devoted her life towards making this place a better one for fellow artists, screen/TV writers, authors, musicians, singers, comedians, theater actors, production people, managers, and entrepreneurs using her blessings and ever-expanding sphere of influence. She was a very generous and kind person who found delight in the simplest of pleasures. She loved to cook for her friends and family and laughed at the silliest jokes of her grandchildren. She was always the life of the party and she was well-loved by her colleagues and employees. She loved to experiment and was an adventurer. Even in her 70's she was still trying out new things and conquering her fears. She was the epitome of a Renaissance woman.

3. I’ll know I have succeeded when I see my children living balanced and successful lives because they learned through my example.

4. MAXIMIZERS Principles (Rate yourself from 1 – 10)

a. M - I take charge of my life and am a difference-maker: 8

b. A - I live my life with a sense of destiny: 8

c. X - I embrace problems as positive opportunities: 8

d. I - I center my life on bedrock principles: 6

e. M - I passionately pursue my mission: 7

f. I - I keep all vital areas of my life in balance: 6

g. Z - I put others first and honestly serve them: 6

h. E - I cultivate my character and spirit: 7

i. R - I keep adjusting to needs: 6

j. S - I never, ever, ever quit: 5

CHAPTER 1

Action Steps

1. I see myself as a victor! I believe I have the capacity to determine my life’s direction and of making the right decisions despite the many challenges and conflicting interests of people around me. I also believe that I’m perfectly able and, in fact, have been struggling to do it for several years now, am gaining control on my thoughts, belief systems and attitudes. That is because I give myself time to creatively reflect every once in a while. An example is the decision to move from one job to another in the last three years until I can find my niche and follow my heart’s desire in pursuing my dream to become a writer.

2. I’m quite disciplined when it comes to work now, more than I was a couple of years back. I’m also disciplined in giving myself time to relax and re-charge after a period of intense work. I am LEAST disciplined when it comes to EATING and doing EXERCISE.

3. ParishChurch. And go to Annanda Marga on Saturday mornings to attend free yoga classes. I would like to start exercising again on a regular basis. I wish I can get up everyday at 6am to attend the free Tai Chi class in our Parish Church.

4. My BAD Habits are:
   1. Watching TV for more than 3 hours each day which keeps me from doing more productive work.
   2. Not waking up at the appointed time.
   3. Eating too much.
   4. Spending too much on FOOD.
   5. Eating too much sweets.
   6. Procrastinating (and cramming).

Chapter 2

Action Steps

1. Complete the ff statements:

A. I am special because

1.) Because I have the gift of making people at ease and I am a very good listener. People come to me with all sorts of problems and troubles and they feel good after being with me.

2.) Because I am very creative, I can weave words into a story and I shape my life into a masterpiece.

3.) Because I have faith and I have a strong relationship with my God and I believe that I am exactly where I need to be at every moment.

B. I can make a difference in these ways:

1.) Helping the people around me achieve their dreams, by encouraging them and boosting their self esteem

2.) Introducing people with a certain need to those people who can respond to these needs. I believe that we are all interdependent and we will only be successful by helping others in their journey.

3.) Touching people’s lives, loving them and trusting them that they will make the right decisions.

C. I must fulfill my destiny (reason for being) by:

1.) By showing up when and where I am needed. By working hard and doing my best every time.

2.) By confronting my fears and inspiring others to do the same.

3.) By having a grateful heart, by always thanking God for all the blessings and challenges He will throw my way.

Therefore, I see myself as a SIGNIFICANT PERSON.

2. Here are three major soft spots I need to admit to myself, to others and to God.

a. I can be lazy at times, I tell myself that I don’t have time to exercise but the truth is I am just too lazy to do it.

b. I am getting more selective when it comes to choosing friends. I look at friendships as an investment so I choose people according to their ROI (return of investment) potential. I choose those whom I perceive who can help me in the future or those I can help in the future.

c. I am so extravagant when it comes to food and books. I spend all my money on restaurants and on buying books and magazines. I seldom buy clothes or anything that I need like toiletries etc. Plus, I love to travel whenever I can even when I only have P2000 on my pocket.

I would love to travel more. Plus, I would love to spend more to buy paintings, watching theatrical plays concerts and movies. I’m not sure if this is a weakness though.

3. Here’s how I will look for opportunities to grow in the coming year:

1. I will always keep my ears open and always be on the lookout how I can help people.

2. I will be thankful when problems/crises arise because as the Chinese say, “there is opportunity in crisis” or as one famous wise man puts it, “failures are blessings in disguise”.

3. I’ll continue to work on my weaknesses, cultivate my strengths and be generous in sharing my time and learning with friends and strangers alike.

MAXIMIZER’S CREED

I will take charge of my life and make a difference.

I will live my life with a sense of dignity.

I will embrace problems as positive opportunity.

I will center my life on universal principles.

I will passionately pursue my mission.

I will keep all vital areas of my life in balance.

I will put others fist and honestly serve them.

I will cultivate my character and spirit.

I will keep adjusting to needs.

I will never, ever, ever quit.

Anxiety attacks

It’s Monday once again. More than 2 months have passed since I got my domain name and yet I was only able to post 5 entries in my blog before it was attacked by malaware. I suspect this was because I was downloading and uploading plug-ins and free Wordpress themes in several Internet cafés, trying to make my site pretty and not concentrating enough on the content.

Plus, it’s hard to think when it’s so noisy and most of your seatmates are playing Tantra and shouting invectives at no one in particular. I’m not a very flexible person that way. I can’t tolerate too much noise.

It’s a good thing I finally had a DSL connection installed at home just 3 days ago.

What to do eh? I’m eager to start my new quest – to become the go-to girl when it comes to backpacking in the Philippines. But…and this is a big BUT. I don’t know if I can really WING IT.

I’m having a major anxiety attack. I can’t sleep at night and my appetite has gone haywire.

I doubt if I can do this on my own. But I have no choice because the 2 people I thought I could rely on and who committed to be on board proved to be unreliable. It’s been 2 months and yet, they don’t have anything to show for. All the meetings and email exchanges were in vain. I shouldn’t have kept my expectations up. But I don’t want to stay disappointed either. After all, I still would like to keep them as friends – but not as business partners. So, I need to revise my original plans. I’m a one-man team from now on.

I will just do this on my own for now but I will still ask help from my friends. I know some of them will be willing to write an article or 2 but not really commit to being part of the team. It’s hard enough to convince people to blog about their experience, let alone convince them that a blog can earn them money. I can’t afford to outsource yet. I don’t even have enough money right now to pay for my webhosting plan if ever my free subscription runs out.

Besides, I really don’t know if it WILL EARN MONEY. I can’t guarantee that at all. All I know is that I am willing to do whatever it takes and no matter how long it takes to do it.

I don’t want to go work for anybody else, I’m not very good at it. And I don’t like commuting to work, I get sick all the time from the stress, the pollution, the traffic… Plus, I don’t like being bossed around by too many people.

The past year has been really difficult. It’s a daily struggle. I feel disoriented even now, inspite of the fact that I’ve been back from Palawan for over a year now. And yet, I feel like so much has changed and I can’t quite keep up with it all. Why didn’t they tell us this in the debriefing? I feel slow – literally and figuratively. I can’t quite figure out what is wrong with me. I am not living in an island anymore. I get to watch TV now, listen to the evening news, read the newspapers, use my cellphone and surf the Internet. And yet, a part of me is not functioning optimally.

Plus the fact that I miss my simpler, island life. I actually do. I miss the idea of teaching and telling stories to my students and seeing their eyes light up with understanding. I miss the fact that the whole community welcomed me into their arms and have shown me overwhelming support in my endeavors. I miss my overachieving self. I guess it’s easy to overachieve when they have so little and you have so much to give.

Now, back in Manila I feel like a failure. I can’t seem to do anything brilliantly. I feel so mediocre now. I feel like a BIG disappointment to everyone. Especially my mom.

I don’t feel satisfied with my performance at the jobs I’ve taken on in the past year. And I’ve had 4 already. Just in the past 10 months – June to April. This is a complete turnaround from my 10 months in Palawan as a volunteer from June 2007 to April 2008. It’s a very disturbing contrast. I was looking at the 10-paged Achievement Report I submitted to the Gurong Pahinungod last April 12, 2008 and I wonder to myself where has this person gone? I don’t know if I can get her back. I feel so… INADEQUATE these days. I am a big let down.

That’s why I decided to completely STOP whatever it is I am doing. Just so I can take stock of my life and where I’m heading – which is nowhere. FAST.

I am not sure what I want to do, but I do know I don’t want to work anymore; not in the corporate world nor in the academe. Not yet, it would take a while before I feel confident about teaching in a classroom again. I don’t feel that I’m up to the task.

What I really want to do is to be involved in community projects. I want to volunteer again. But I can’t afford to do that yet. Not yet. I have to save some money first.

But how do I make money without a job?

Well, this is where blogging comes in. I figured I really like writing – though I know I’m not really great at it. But I’ve had articles published before so maybe I’m not too bad at it. Plus, I really like traveling. But all my travels in the past almost always had to do with some form of volunteer activity I’m involved in. After all, I’ve been volunteering for NGOs and community projects since my highschool days.

Life is shorts.. I mean short.

This is so swellll! Laughter is the best medicine, that is, if you don’t die laughing while reading this… In Tagalog… tatumbling ka kapatid!

We’ ve been friends for a long time ago. We come from the same alma mother. Actually, our paths crossed one time on another. But it’s only now that I gave him a second look. I realized that beauty is in the eyes. The pulpbits of my heart went fast, really fast. Cute pala siya.

And then, he came over with me. He said, “I hope you don’t mine. Can I get your number?” Nag-worry ako. What if he doesn’t give it back? He explained naman na it’s so we could keep intact daw. Sabi ko, connect me if i’m wrong but are you asking me ouch? Nabigla siya. Sagot niya, The! … Aba! Parang siya pa ang galit! Persona ingrata!!! Ang kapal niya! I cried buckles of tears.

Na-guilty yata siya. Sabi niya, isipin mo na lang na this is a blessing in the sky. Irregardless daw of his feelings, we’ll go ouch na rin. Now, we’re so in love. Mute and epidemic na ang past. Thanks God we swallowed our fried. Kasi, I’m 33 na and I’m running our time. After 2 weeks, he plopped the question. “Will you marriage me?” I’m in a state of shocked. Kasi mantakin mo, when it rains, it’s four! This is true good to be true. So siyempre, I said yes. Love is a many splendor.

Pero nung inaayos ko na ang aming kasal, everything swell to pieces. Nag-di-dinner kami noon nang biglang sa harap ng aming table, may babaeng humirit ng, “Well, well, well. Look do we have here.” What the fuss! The nerd ng babaeng yon! She said they were still on. So I told her, whatever is that, cut me some slacks! I didn’t want this to get our hand kaya I had to sip it in the bud. She accused me of steeling her boyfriend. Ats if! I don’t want to portrait the role of the other woman. Gosh, tell me to the marines! I told her, “Please, mine you own business!” Who would believe her anyway?

Dahil it’s not my problem anymore but her problem anymore, tumigil na rin siya ng panggugulo. Everything is coming up daisies. I’m so happy. Even my boyfriend said liketwice. He’s so supportive. Sabi niya, “Look at is this way. She’s our of our lives.”

Kaya advise ko sa inyo - take the risk. You can never can tell. Just burn the bridge when you get there. Life is shorts. If you make a mistake, we’ll just pray for the internal and external repose of your soul. I second emotion.

Sagada Sojourn

I’m just reminiscing…food always reminds me how wonderful life is.

I wish I had pictures of my trip to Sagada when i went there in 2005. I have no digital camera then plus I went alone. I met some mountaineers from U&AP and they were kind enough to adopt me for the next 2 days.

I went with them to the Big Falls and to Sagada weaving. We ate our meals together at Masferre cafe, St. Joseph's (where we stayed) and at the very popular Yogurt house. I loved the food there, and ever since I tasted their pasta dishes, i have tried experimenting with some vegetarian dishes at home. My brothers are meat-eaters though so they can't appreciate pasta with eggplants that much. But my mom loves them.

Here's a short snippet about that memorable trip.

I’m not sure if I got the prices right, I was there last Dec 2005 and haven't had a chance to go back since.…

The Yogurt House

Great food plus pleasant company spells good time. But add to it a warm and homey ambiance then that one makes for a truly memorable experience. The meal times I spent at the Yoghurt House in the heart of Sagada, a rustic town in Mountain Province, evokes such happy memories that I constantly wish I can bring all my friends there for lunch or dinner one of these days. For those who travel alone and are seeking solace –like me on that cold December weekend in 2005 –fellow travelers can instantly turn into family.

A shared meal of Angel Hair Spaghetti with Grilled Eggplant, Parmesan Cheese and Olive Oil (PhP100) becomes an opportunity to share stories about other journeys. Conversation take on a deeper meaning when you feel comfy enough to put your feet up, strum a few songs on the guitar or pick a poetry book on the shelf. This restaurant sure feels like your own house, and the pleasant company just like old friends so you take time contemplating whether you should have the yogurt with bananas and granola again for dessert (PhP60) or with only strawberry preserves (PhP50) this time around. You settle on having the latter while your new-found friends are singing Greenday’s “Time of Our Lives”. You join the chorus. It’s amazing how one bowl of yogurt can make life so sweet.

Remembering Noel

A good friend of mine died 3 years ago, on April 2nd, barely a month after my father died.

I knew him for only about 2 years when he died but the few and unforgettable moments we shared were enough for his exuberant nature to rub off on me.

Sometimes, I wish that we were able to spend more time together. Marami pa akong gustong ikwento sa kanya and we haven’t even started collaborating on a film yet. We haven’t even traveled out of town together.

Bakit ganun noh? When you realize that you’ve grown to love someone, whether that person is a friend or a lover or a very close family member, you never stop loving them.

I learned recently that if we really look inside ourselves, we would come to the conclusion that we love ourselves more than we love other people.

So I guess what I mean by loving someone is realizing that that person makes us feel good about who we are : they make us feel bigger than ourselves, more capable, more adequate, more generous, more trusting, more kind, more adventurous, more courageous, more articulate even…

When we encounter these people, they make us WANT to be our true selves. They bring out our basic goodness, our luminosity.

Bakit kasi takot na takot tayo sa sarili natin?

I once asked a person what he fears and yun ang sagot niya, “takot ako sa sarili ko”.

Promise ko sa ‘yo Noel, hindi ako matatakot magmahal ulit at sumugal ng paulit-ulit sa maraming bagay at sa maraming tao.

Sabi mo nga sa akin one time, over a bottle of beer, “if you can’t beat them, bitch about ‘em! Then move on and find something else to bitch about.”

That’s your version of telling me to never give up. Siyempre minsan magpapahinga ka, magwa-whine ng konti, magmumukmok, pero pagkatapos nun, sugod ulit. I think I’m ready to find something else to bitch about. It’s been a while…

Peaches and Cream

Dear Ms. Solve It,

I think I’m in trouble. My skin is getting grayer by the day, it’s not as creamy and luscious as it was before. I also observed that my dear Froilan, doesn’t want to sleep with me under him anymore.

I remember having very good times with him and I long for those nights when he would embrace me after a long day’s work. He used to smell me and rub his nose on me a lot before going to sleep. He would wake up with a smile on his face and fix me up before starting his morning routine.

Now, that doesn’t happen anymore. I think I stink. A lot. I need washing, that’s for sure. I haven’t been washed, dried under the sun and starched for a long time now. It’s been weeks or even months. He seems to be neglecting me. He rarely sleeps here at home nowadays so I dunno if he’s even noticed.

What do I do, Ms. Solve It? Help me get noticed.

Peaches

The Creamy Bed sheet

++++

Dear Peaches,

I commiserate with you on your current state of being, it’s a pity that Froilan hasn’t noticed that he is living and sleeping in not so ideal surroundings. But it’s even more worrisome to me that you are waiting for him to take care of you!

Be a little more proactive, my dear. Cleanliness is verry important. Do something! Desperate times call for drastic measures. So, move your pretty ass!

Doesn’t Froilan own a washing machine you can soak your body into so you can get your creaminess back? Go ahead and take care of yourself. Crawl to the nearest Laundromat if you have to.

Stop being wishy-washy! Do something NOW— otherwise,, you are in danger of having more trouble come your way. Don’t wait for Froilan to impeach you by buying a newer and creamier bed sheet. Take things into your own hands. And that’s an order.

Your friend and adviser,

Ms. Solve It

The Pre-Tea Kettle

Around November 2004, I was enrolled in CW 151 under Ms. Carla Pacis. The subject was writing for young adults. I loved this exercise as we were instructed to choose an object, create a problem for that object and ask Ms. Solve It to help him/her deal with it.

It’s called personification by the way.

Dear Ms. Solve-It,

Please help me. I’m a little confused. I thought that being a kettle means all I have to do is sit around all day, stay pretty, store hot water and whistle occasionally. I didn’t know that I’d actually have to sit in the fire and endure the hot, dizzying pain.

I like being of use and having enough warmth to keep the water hot so the whole family can have some tea any time of the day, especially during the cold weather. But it’s really uncomfortable, you know… sitting near the stove all day and being on stand-by all the time. I dread being emptied of my contents because that only means they will have to fill me up again and subject me to scorching heat.

What should I do? Can I switch careers now? Please advice.

In heat and confused,

Lylah, the Pre-Tea Kettle

++++

Dear Lylah,

I wish it were that easy, switching careers I mean.

Didn’t your teachers or your family tell you that being a kettle means having enough courage and strength in you to withstand the fire?

Well, let me enlighten you, dear. I know it’s uncomfortable and even painful having to endure the heat from the oven, so if you can’t stand it get out of the kitchen, right? Wrong. You see, the moment that you accept that life is difficult then it becomes easier, for you and for everyone else. That’s from Dr. Scott M. Peck’s book, The Road Less Traveled.

You need not be confused, Lylah, the pre-tea kettle. Kettles are not just pretty beings, they are pretty sturdy, too, judging from the way they are built. They are built like that for a very specific reason: to keep the warmth inside their body for as long it’s possible.

So, do not be confused anymore. You have a noble task: to keep yourself warm and to share this warmth to anyone who needs it.

Keep whistling,

Ms. Solve-It

My Favorite Travel Quotes from Vagablogging

You want to be a writer? First leave home.

"When people ask me what they should do to become a writer, I seldom mention books. I assume the person has a love for the written word, and solitude, and a disdain for wealth — so I say, ‘You want to be a writer? First leave home.’"
–Paul Theroux, Fresh Air Fiend (2000)

Travel is an act of creativity

"[T]ravel for me is a kind of writing, an alternate text, a preliminary draft. It isn’t just a way to escape, as Graham Greene put it, or a way to gather material or battle against boredom. It is an act of creativity in which the world is an empty page and I’m the pen scrawling looping, recursive lines across a landscape. The goal in each case is the same — insight, joy, euphony, vivid experience, visual excitement, sensuous delight and discovery. Safer than alcohol, cheaper than heroin, it’s my method, a la Arthur Rimbaud, of systematically deranging my senses, opening myself up to the new and unexpected."
–Michael Mewshaw, "Travel, Travel Writing, and the Literature of Travel" (2004)

Learn to accept change and welcome chance

"People don’t want to change unless forced to. We’ve been conditioned to structure and control our lives in order to resist change, to stop change altogether if possible, to be secure, to make rules, to make plans, to organize, to enforce, and so forth. The problem with all this is that it doesn’t work anymore. We’re de-energized and confused, afraid of the world, unsure of ourselves. Why? Because our sense of control is a complete illusion, however complex and pervasive. It doesn’t square with the world as it is, just some obsolete and chicken-shit version we made up so we could "control" it. * Vagabonding is an effective technique for trashing this illusion, one that works because it makes you feel good. You can again make your life fun instead of fucked, and you do this by paying attention to change and chance, which manifest everywhere, in all persons and places. The vagabond accepts change and welcomes chance, for they are the sure signs of energy flow, and the center of life. * Serving change and chance, which is vagabonding, automatically and unfailingly elevates you and expands your potentials so that you can meet their delightful demands."
–Ed Buryn, Vagabonding in the USA (1980)

Pico Iyer on time travel

"I’ve been lucky enough to go to many of the uncharted places on the map, and these days what I do is go more and more into the unmapped hours of the clock. I travel into 3am, I go into the dead hours of the night, I travel into silence and darkness and uncertainty, because those are places in myself that perhaps I don’t visit enough and that as a writer of discovery I feel I should explore."
–Pico Iyer, from "A New Kind of Travel for a New Kind of World", a speech given at the Key West Literary Seminar, January 5, 2006

Longfellow on the importance of the present moment

"Art is long, and Time is fleeting,
And our hearts, though stout and brave,
Still, like muffled drums, are beating
Funeral marches to the grave.
In the world’s broad field of battle,
In the bivouac of life,
Be not like dumb, driven cattle!
Be a hero in the strife!
Trust no Future, howe’er pleasant!
Let the dead Past bury its dead!
Act, — act in the living Present!
Heart within, and God o’erhead!"

–Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, "A Psalm of Life," (1839)

Henry Miller on life as a mysterious journey

"No one takes a straight-cut line through life. Often we fail to stop at the stations indicated on the timetable. Sometimes we go off the track. Sometimes we lose our way, or take to the air and vanish life chaff. The most tremendous voyages are sometimes taken without moving from the spot. In the space of a few minutes some individuals live out of the span of an ordinary mortal’s total experience. Some use up numbers of lives in the course of their stay here below. Some burgeon like mushrooms while others slip back hopelessly, mired in their tracks. What it is that goes on moment by moment in a man’s life is forever unfathomable. No man can possibly relate the whole story, no matter how limited a fragment of his life he may choose to dwell on. It is this aura of the unknown, in which the real struggle takes place, that alone interests me. In describing facts, events, relationships, even trivia, I am constantly endeavoring to make the reader aware of the all-pervasiveness of that dark, mysterious realm in the absence of which nothing could happen."
–Henry Miller, The World of Sex (1940)

Adventure is equal parts external and internal

"You can’t see the teeth on a buzz-saw. …Too much diversion can keep us from knowing how miserable or how happy we are, what bores we are or what fun, how much we want, need or lack. Each day on the river I shed more and more of my external self until I find eventually that I’m left totally alone with the core, facing myself as angry and aggressive, often afraid, no physical superman. Just a man and nothing special. A vacation is external. A pilgrimage is internal. An adventure combines them."
–Eddy L. Harris, Mississippi Solo (1988)

Some simple logic about work and life, from Edward Abbey

"I don’t believe in doing work I don’t want to do in order to live the way I don’t want to live."
–Edward Abbey, The Fool’s Progress (1988)

Tom Robbins on one’s first taste of travel

"Perhaps the most terrible (or wonderful) thing that can happen to an imaginative youth, aside from the curse (or blessing) of imagination itself, is to be exposed without preparation to the life outside his or her own sphere — the sudden revelation that there is a there out there."
–Tom Robbins, Jitterbug Perfume (1984)

Jean-Paul Sartre on adventure

"’What sort of adventures?" I asked him, astonished. ‘All sorts, Monsieur. Getting on the wrong train. Stopping in an unknown city. Losing your briefcase, being arrested by mistake, spending the night in prison. Monsieur, I believe the word adventure could be defined: an events out of ordinary without being necessarily extraordinary.’"
–Jean-Paul Sartre, Nausea (1964)

Douglas Coupland on why so few people go vagabonding

"option paralysis: The tendency, when given unlimited choices, to make none."
–Douglas Coupland, Generation X (1991)

Tanya Shaffer on the kindness of strangers

"Here’s what I love about travel: Strangers get a chance to amaze you. Sometimes a single day can bring a blooming surprise, a simple kindness that opens a chink in the brittle shell of your heart and makes you a different person when you go to sleep — more tender, less jaded — than you were when you woke up."
–Tanya Shaffer, "Looking for Abdelati" Salon, Feb. 7, 1999

Nakakamiss mainlove

Kapag Sinabi Ko Sa 'Yo

ni Gary Granada

Kapag sinabi ko sa 'yo na ika'y minamahal

Sana'y maunawaan mo na ako'y isang mortal

Na di ko kayang abutin ang mga bituin at buwan

O di kaya'y sisirin perlas ng karagatan

Kapag sinabi ko sa 'yo na ika'y iniibig

Sana'y maunawaan mo na ako'y taga-daigdig

Kagaya ng karamihan, karaniwang karanasan --

Dala-dala kahit saan pang araw-araw na pasan

Ako'y hindi romantiko sa iyo'y di ko matitiyak

Na pag ako'y kapiling mo kailanma'y di ka iiyak

Ang magandang hinaharap sikapin nating maabot

Ngunit kung di pa maganap, sana'y huwag mong ikalungkot

Kapag sinabi ko sa 'yo na ika'y sinisinta

Sana'y ibigin mo akong mulat ang iyong mga mata

Ang kayamanan kong dala ay pandama't kamalayan

Na natutunan sa iba na nabighani sa bayan

Halina't ating pandayin isang malayang daigdig

Upang doo'y payabungin isang malayang pag-ibig

Kapag sinabi ko sa'yo na ika'y sinusuyo

Sana'y yakapin mo akong kasama ang aking mundo...

Who are my friends today???

Why do I feel this way again? I hate Valentines day...

It's a good thing I'm going far away this weekend.

An excerpt from my journal dated February 12, 2007 :

I am friends with the swing in the playground next to the basketball court where my two brothers grew up playing ball every summer. I am a friend of the weather, I feel rainy during wet season, and I feel hot during summer. I am a friend to this wooden bed, with its old red mattress, which makes a squeaking sound every time I try to move away from it. I am a friend to this electric fan – with its green blade and its white body – and I try very much to be caring towards it especially since it tries very hard to make my attic room cool in this hot, humid February afternoon.

I am a friend to my worn out pillows. I am a friend to the blue and purple sky. I am friends with the yellow and black felt paper canvasses containing my nude sketches. I am friends with the artists most of whose names I don’t know, and the canvasses and linen papers they lay at my feet, the pencils, water colors, charcoal, ball point pen, pastels they each use to mark my existence, catch the twinkle in my eye, the curves of my body, the nooks and crannies I’ve tried to hide from everybody else for 28 years, and my honey-laden smile at the start of each session.

I am friends with the Gardenia bread, the peanut butter and Chocolait I just had for breakfast this morning. I am a friend to my mouth, my palms, my stomach, my legs, my teeth, my eyebrows. I am a friend to the yellow bell flowers I like to put behind my right ear. I am a friend to the bright moon and the night sky filled with distant stars.

I am a friend to this spiral notebook which allows me to carry Charlie, Lucy and Snoopy – asking Is there No One to Rescue Me?— everywhere I go. I am a friend to this black gel pen which I carry with me all the time to assure me that I can write whatever I want, whenever I have a need to.

I am friends with this gigantic mirror adjacent to my bed, this golden yellow sarong with its pink and green stray lines that I am lying on, the blue roofs outside my window, and of course the windows which allow me a glimpse of the world outside, a world I choose to abandon for a while.

I am a friend to all kinds of coffee: 3-in-1, black, brewed, latte, cold and hot, macchiato and frappucino. I am friends with loneliness, bitterness, happiness, eagerness, cleanliness, sadness, dailiness, madness, and all kinds of words which has to do with being present in the now but also looking forward to tomorrow while seeing that yesterday is gone and cannot be summoned anymore no matter how much you would like to cherish it and hold it with you once more.

I am friends with dark nights and cold November rain, with salty memories of beach encounters and Mayflowers, with April blooms, with June’s excitement and September gatherings. But I have yet to befriend the other months in the calendar, the other 50 people in my 250-filled to capacity phonebook stored inside my cellphone.

I have yet to be friends with anger, sarcasm, with juicy gossip, with politics in the workplace, with stressful mornings brought on by my need to go home to my own bed inspite of my grogginess. I have yet to befriend my insecurities, my need to prove myself to myself, my hunger for appreciation, my thirst for love and companionship.

Remember what they were to you

I found this on my journal entries 2 years ago. Why is it still so painful now?

I thought time would heal everything, but the pain is still here.

2/08/2007

I found this quotation in someone else’s blog comments. Tommy, a fellow blogger, wrote about his pain when his furry friend (a cat) died and lots of people were able to relate to it including me. Whether we lost a person, or a cat (which was with Tommy for 17 years), LETTING GO is a painful process. But no matter how hard it takes, or how long, eventually the wounds heal, and we find some comfort in the fact the person or friend we lost will always remain in our hearts.]

Below is a note a nice passerby on Tommy’s blog left for all of us to ponder on.

"Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there…to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or help figure out who you are or who you want to become.

You never know who these people may be but you lock eyes with them, and you know that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way.

These people might only be with you for a short period of time, but they serve a purpose. And when that purpose is done, they fly away from our lives, suddenly, painfully, slowly or gradually. Some stay.

Whoever they may be, remember them. Remember what they were to you. Remember the lesson learned, the happiness and love, the tears and pain.

Sometimes things happen to you at the time that may seem horrible, painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles you would never realize your potential, strength, will power or endurance.

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of luck.

Illness, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul.

Without these small tests, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere; safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet affect your life.

The successes and downfalls that you experience can create who you are, and the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact they are probably the most poignant and important ones."

Planting a thought from God

FUELED

by Marcie Hans

Fueled by a million

man-made wings of fire---

the rocket tore a tunnel

through the sky--

and everyone cheered.

Fueled only by a thought from God---

the seedling

urged its way

through the thickness of black--

and as it pierced

the heavy ceiling of the soil--

and launched itself

up into outer space--

no one

even

clapped.

Where do I want to go next

This was written in January 2008.

I haven't done anything productive last year after I got back from Palawan. It's hard to be at the wrong place for a very long time.

01/07/08

This 2008, Year of the Rat, I’m imagining that people would be more mobile…more adventurous…more willing to explore. In Tagalog, mas aligaga..makati ang paa.

I myself would be happy to get another job that will pay me to go places, meet people, experience new things and live to write and tell about ‘em.

It doesn’t necessarily have to be a TOURIST destination. I don’t count myself as a tourist. When I go to visit a place, I like eating with the locals, learning their dialect, tuning out their humor and drawing out their stories.

Hence, my Palawan experience certainly counts as one of the most meaningful experiences I’ve had this lifetime. I know that ten years from now, when I look back to this period in my life, I will congratulate myself for having had the courage to just go OUT THERE. And it’’s not done yet. I’m still at it. In fact, I’m going back there this Friday to continue being a volunteer teacher. Until March, that is.

After April 15, I will be marching to a different tiempo, I hope. I’m not sure yet where I’ll go next or what my next adventures will be. I don’t have plans as of the moment. I haven’t really started thinking about it and I am not planning to plan for it either.. right now, all I have are a few "fantasies".

Let me share some of ‘em with you…

I want to explore Mindanao. I want to visit Adre in Cagayan de Oro; Wadik, Dioma and my cousins, neices & nephews in Davao City; I want to spend a month in Kiri’s hometown Iligan or Pam’s Butuan. I want to meet and spend time bonding with the local tribes there and hear them play their indigenous musical instruments, watch the ladies weave their beautiful skirts or blankets and maybe even dance with them in a celebratory feast.

I want to teach writing to college students in Dumaguete (haha as if!) and bask in the Tiempo’s seaside sunset in Silliman University, in Dumaguete. I want to make Aklan my hideaway, and just enjoy my own brand of solitude in an ashram somewhere in Buruanga, an hour away from Caticlan.

I want to train myself in shiatsu massage and become a masseuse (ala Maggie Cheung in Zhang Yimou’s "Comrades: Almost A Love Story") and spend one summer working in Currimao’s Nipa Hut Resort, and then fly off to Kaoshung, Taiwan when the weather becomes too hot and humid.

I want to enroll as an apprentice (Bing, pahiram nito ha) with an old and accomplished potter in Vigan and spend my days molding clay and mourning the death of an old flame (yeah, you got it - ala Demi Moore in "Ghost").

I want to fly off to Malawi and visit Jundoc’s patients and rub shoulders with Madonna. I want to go and see Kenya for myself and compare it to Calauit Island and maybe meet the cousins of Atong Ang and Erap, my two favorite giraffes.

I want to go bungee jumping in Australia, sleep under a duvet in Belgium, spell my name on the sand dunes in Dubai, go ice fishing in Canada; ride a train and have a "Before Sunrise" moment in Vienna, Austria; dig some archeological facts in Pompeii (Italy), dance to the beat of the drums in Jamaica; have a healthy salad and thick coffee in a caffe in Greece; or maybe elope with someone from Belize…?!

And try a thousand and one things ONE starry night…

I don’t know if I’ll have enough time and energy to do all this in a lifetime but who the hell is stopping me?

These are just some of the journeys I want to undertake - external and outward explorations. I haven’t even started listing the things I want to explore INSIDE me yet…

I therefore conclude that being a Rabbit who was born on the Year of the Fire Snake I am NOT meant to join some nutty or RATTY race. After all, I am meant to skip and hop, scramble, slither and slide all over the universe.

As my favorite poet - Theodore Roethke - puts it : "I learn by going where I have to go and take my waking slow.."